Monday Morning Rambling!

I started dieting 13 years ago...that seems SO long ago, but it also seems like such a short time ago. I started dieting my senior year of high school. I was 268. I had just gotten back from a cruise with my family where my sister took a picture of me laying across my bed and I looked like a 'brown whale'...no joke. In all of our cruise pictures, I was bigger than everyone..even my dad. The senior year was starting, I knew prom was coming and I wanted a date. So I started losing weight.

Over that year, I tried a million different diets--these are a few of my faves:

I actually went to WW, first. I weighed in at 268.8 and never went back...for a few years.

Instead of WW, my 17 yr old brain chose good ole faithful--starvation. I'd eat nothing for breakfast, a diet coke for lunch, and vegatable soup for dinner. That lasted about a month or so. I lost probably 10 or so pds. Of course, the starvation diet didn't last long...

I moved on to the Carbohydrates Lover's Diet. I would eat nothing all day,and then gorge for an hr. That last a few months and another 15-20 pds.

By this time, I had lost 30-35 pds. It was the end of the year, I was down a few sizes and felt great. I didn't get a date to prom...but the guy I was IN LOVE with DID notice the weight loss. He told my BFF how great I looked, called me his baby...and I never heard from him again. Actually, I did...I got an invitation to his wedding about a year later. Story of my life...

I maintained the 35 pd loss...and managed to lose another 15-20 pds. I hovered around 200 pds a long time.

I moved to NYC when I was 20 years old. When I moved to NYC, I had a roommate who had recently lost a lot of weight. She had gotten into running a lot, so we encouraged each other. I was working out 5 times a week, and eating right 5 days a week. I actually rejoined WW. I was following the plan loosely, but tightly enough to actually lose weight. When I went back to Houston for Thanksgiving break, I was around 182. My family thought I looked GREAT! I felt great. One fatal flaw with this plan was my roommate not only encouraged me, she also became my binging buddy. We would restrict all week long, and eat all weekend long. Our metabolisms were still young enough to take this type of abuse.

I managed to maintain 182 throughout the rest of my undergraduate school career.

When I finished UG, I moved in with a guy I was dating at the time. He became my eating buddy. He was always trying to feed me! I also got my first 'real' job and ate lunch out everyday. I rapidly gained 20 or so pds. When I rejoined WW, I was 204.

I faithfully went to WW, I adopted all of the principles and lost to 165. I stopped going when I got a high stress job and started graduate school.

I still (to this day) maintain a lot of the principles I've learned through WW...but I haven't been a faithful member since I stopped that meeting. I always joined when I had a small regain, lose that weight and stop going.

Why am I talking about this? Especially since one of my goals for the year was to NOT diet...

Well, I think once a dieter, always a dieter. As much as I want to go off of my own free will regards to losing weight/maintaining a healthy lifestyle. I am craving that "eat this, not that" mentality of a diet.

So my current quandry is, should I go back to an eating plan? My family recently joined WW. I've thought about going with them. But then that's another 40.00 a month that I'll be paying out. Maybe MyFitnessPal?

I think before deciding if I want to do a diet, I'll go back to journalling and stick to my goal of measuring everything that goes into my mouth. Of course at breakfast, I forgot to measure the breakfast sausage I used AND creamer. I actually didn't forget to measure my coffee creamer...it's like I have a mental block against measuring that stuff. It's especially bad now that I've switched to a Low Sugar Natural Creamer.

I have always had the attitude that I must watch what I eat the rest of my  life. For the most part, I do watch what I eat...but I think I need to get back to that obsessive stage I was in at the very beginning of my WL. Of course, I'd NEVER starve myself again. That was 17 yr old nuttiness at play. But when I was on WW, I was super anal about my points and what I used them for. I wonder if I can get back to that. Maybe that should be my February challenge?

I didn't get my run in this morning. I will do it on the TM this evening. I may have to missBody Pump :( I scheduled a client at the time of Body Pump. I will see what time allows this evening.

Ok, I have no more time for rambling...

Thanks for listening :)