My no sugar challenge

I started my no sugar challenge on Sunday. I was still in New York, but decided that I needed to start. I got through most of the day, but my loving best friend decided to tempt me with almond cookies. I had one.

Soo…my official start was on Tuesday. I have made it through each day without eating anything that triggers my brain to binge. I have also noticed that when I eat certain things, I get a comfort feeling in my brain. Last night, I decided to mix some Fruity Pebbles in my yogurt. I ate a few out of the box, and I felt a warmth come over my body. It scared me. So, fruity pebbles are crossed off my acceptable food list. Yes, I realize cereal is high in sugar, but I wasn’t sure if it was trigger or not. It did. So no more!

I started this challenge with myself because I realized that sugar is not my friend. I have struggled with the binge feelings for several years. When I lived alone, I binged/purged a lot. Since living with people, I have naturally not binged as much, but it is still an issue. Last year, for several months I gave up sugar, sweeteners and salt—my intent for doing this was weight loss. When I didn’t get below my magic stalling number of 168, I went slowly back to my friend, sugar. I did manage to maintain not adding salt or sweeteners to my food, but the admittance of sugar back into my diet sent my body into an on-going binge.

In November, after several encounters with too much sugar, I decided that in the New Year, I was giving up sugar.

When I made this goal, I spent the next two months eating as much sugar as I want. What addict doesn’t go on one last bender?

While I was on my sugar binge, I had a lot of time to think about what I wanted out of this. I decided that losing weight is secondary to the need to FEEL healthy, lighter and run faster.

So my goal for this year is not to cut the sugar out to lose weight (although, body, it would be a nice bonus ;)), it’s to FEEL better. I think shifting the goal from weight (can’t control) to a feeling (can control) it’s helped me to get through this week.

I was going to go through a detox and really take everything out of my diet, but I decided that was crazy. So for this week, I’ve allowed myself a small amount of savory treats when I have really bad cravings. I have had some pretty mean cravings, so a few chips or a small pc of dark chocolate has been a welcomed relief.

I’ve also noticed that I have been a raving bitch and a paranoid freak all week! I am hoping that as the time passes, this too shall pass. Last night, I am not proud to say, that I totally freaked out on my little sister for making noise with the dog. Looking back, I was tired and I wanted SOMETHING, I should have closed myself in my room and went to sleep. After last night, I realized that this isn’t going to be a cakewalk. It’s taking dedication and me finding alternate ways to handle when I am upset.

Since I need to go basic with myself, I bought a calendar and stickers to mark my good and bad days. I need to build in incentives. I’d love to give myself a few dollars a week for good behavior, but I have so many big things coming up this year, that it is best if I save as much as possible. So far, just seeing more stickers than L has helped me.

I have made a list of acceptable sweet things:

Dark Chocolate. I buy the Bliss Dark Chocolate squares and have a few a day. The dark chocolate is not sweet enough to trigger me, but it’s sweet enough to help me through a bad craving.

Yogurt covered pretzels. This is just in extreme cases of needing something. I am not crazy about pretzels, so I doubt this will become a habit.

Peppermint sticks. I bought a few small ones to eat when I want something in my mouth.

Creamer in my coffee. I don’t add sweeteners to my coffee, but I love creamer. I have switched to the natural sweetener, which is not as sweet as the others.

This list will be modified throughout the year. I will test different stuff out and omit or add.

My goal for this year is to just be healthier.

With this goal, I have also decided to do intuitive eating:

Eat when I am hungry

Eat what I want

Stop when I am full

Intuitive eating will also be a work in progress.

I have decided to work on my dieting frame of mind, because I am sick of the dieting, binge, gain, lose, dieting, etc, cycle. I just want to be healthy. I want to get to my feel good weight and just maintain.

I am not expecting perfection, but I will give my best!