Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Since I can't beat it, I might as well join it...

It is 'the diet'...

In an effort to curb my cravings, I decided to write a nice list of things that would happen in a perfect world.

Wouldn't it be nice if:

1. Chocolate had no calories? Wouldn't it also be nice if dark chocolate had no calories. I mean it's 'good for you', why can't I eat it in mass quantities? I'd settle for vats full of dark chocolate. I don't need milk chocolate to be happy.

2. If you lost weight, and got a banging body. My body resembles the body of a 65 year old woman. No matter how much running, weight training or praying I do, it sags. Shouldn't the reward for starving yourself be a banging body? Another unfair thing is that since I am up 7 pds, my breast are looking nice...but when I lose the 7 pds, they will deflate along with my extra tummy I've acquired. What's the fairness in that?

3. Why does hunger have to come so often? I mean, I am hungry every few hours. Why can't hunger just go away when you decide it's time to lose?

4. Why can't chips be one of the food groups? And cake, also. Why can't cake be one of the food groups? I'd settle for just frosting being added. Cake is just the vehicle.

5. Why do carbs have to be the enemy? I know, I know it's not a REAL enemy, but let's be real...nothing 'healthy' starts with white flour.

6. Why can't dried fruit be counted as fruit?

7. Why can't I just naturally pick healthy food? One of my friends posted that age old picture of food from fast food restuarants that never 'go bad'...I mean, I hardly eat fast food. But, if I had a choice, I'd choose fast food over a salad for lunch. The picture is intended to make you think fast food is ick, but all it did was make me want a hamburger and fries. Not that I will eat one anytime soon, or have eaten one anytime soon...but pictures liked that don't deter me. The only thing that REALLY deters me is the expense of fast food.

Aside from fast food, if given the choice, I always want the unhealthy option. I only choose the healthier option most of the time because 1. I get embarassed when others see me eat 'bad' and 2. I do have a tiny bit of fear of regaining my weight! Ok, a HUGE fear...

8. Why can't exercise sub healthy eating? I love to exercise. I exercise to meditate, to day dream, to think, to relax, to be alone...not just for weight loss. But wouldn't it be nice if you committed to exercising 2 hrs a day, you could be magically be at your goal weight?

9. Wouldn't it be nice if weight loss was truly like science and predictable. What if you commit to losing 50 pds in 365 days. Roughly a pd a week. Wouldn't it be nice if you made this committment that it would happen? It's not fair that you can do everything right..ok, MOST things right, and it still might not happen?

10. Wouldn't it be nice if weekends didn't count against you? I mean I follow a mean diet during the week, but I'll be damned if Friday doesn't come every freaking week to derail me.

In a perfect world, I tell you...

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