Friday, May 11, 2012

What Motivates You?

As promised, I rejoined Weight Watchers on wednesday.

I did well eating wise all day on wednesday; when I got home, I decided to have one last free for all... I was lying down on my pallete in my room (yes, all my stuff is at the new house, but for reasons beyond my control, I haven't physically moved in..yet), and contemplated not going to the meeting. You know how the song goes, 'I will do better tomorrow', 'I don't need weight watchers telling me what to eat', 'I don't have an extra 40.00 42.95 a month' stomach turned from the overwhelming amount of food I consumed, and before I could even stop myself, I got in my car and headed to the meeting.

The topic was so fitting--"What Motivates You!"

The leader was standing at the front telling her story of how she came to weight watchers. Everyone was going around the room stating reasons they are motivated. I sat in my seat racking my brain for motivation reasons.

Don't get me wrong, when I started this journey, I had plenty of reasons--we will just call them "Dalvin", then "Will"...oh and vanity.

But 12 years in, nearly 100 pds down (had a regain)...

What motivates me?

I decided to really think of a list of motivators. I think part of my issue with not getting the rest of the weight off is that I am complacent. I get to a weight of about 168-175 and feel good. Ironically, I get a lot of dates around 175. 168 I feel good, fit into a 10...and then I decide to reason with myself about losing the rest.

So here is the list:
My sister's wedding on 8/25. I do not want to go to her wedding not feeling 'fly'. I am the maid of honor, I will be speaking at the reception. I want to stand up, in my kickass dress, nice shoes, impeccable curly hair and feel like I am 'the bomb'. I don't want to feel frumpy, fat, or like I have to hide behind my little sister (who will be standing up with me during the speech).

My bestfriend's wedding on 10/19. Again, I just want to feel FLY! I don't want to be the one in the bridal party calling myself fat, or hiding behind someone. I want to look how I feel -- most of the time.

A little ole marathon on 11/11/2012. I will be running my first marathon on 11/11. I want to toe that starting line as prepared as possible. I want to FEEL like my body can carry me 26.2 miles. I won't feel that way if I am carrying this extra weight.

I want to fit into ALL of my size 10s, and move on to size 8s.

I want a tummy tuck. I also don't want to refat my arms that I paid so much money for.

So those are just a few motivators. Of course, most are superficial and vain, but I have to be honest...I have no health issues, so vanity is my number 1 priority.

With that said, I have ONE full day on plan. 1 day down, 4490802432983283029 to go. :)

I am very proud of myself because yesterday, I had to work a full day, then go get my tires changed, then go to a performance at my sister's school. I didn't get home until almost 9pm. I was STARVING. Thankfully, I had a cliff bar in my car that I was able to eat between the tire shop and the performance, but those go right through me. When I get home, I did NOT binge, I just ate a smaller dinner (lots of fresh vegs) and had watermelon plus a 100 cal fudge bar.

CONTROL! Love it :)

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