And then there were lights!! ...and it's WordFUL Wednesday!

It is supposed to be a wordy day and I don't have a lot to say.
My brain is on overdrive with what I have to do to move into the house. The process is stagnant, unless I am making some movements--duh! It's weird doing things by myself. My mom owns the house, and you'd think she would want more say, but she is totally an observer. Soo..it's up to me.

This week, I've bought a faucet for the kitchen sink and a stove. I also just got the electricity turned on. woohoo!

I am going to start painting the cabinets tomorrow or friday. I have to buy the paint I want for them and paint supplies. Exciting! I have a running list of what I need on my phone, but I may add a tab on the blog and list it there. I have ADD (seriously!) and the dreamer/proscrastinator in me can sometimes take over the the doer in me.

I have so many ideas and thoughts on what I want to do in this home. I am not even sure how long I will be living here. I think it will be at least until I get married--no other need to move, I suppose.

Since I have  been thinking about this home, I have thought about my original dream of home ownership. My parents have always owned their homes, and have instilled that value into my sister and me. While I am a little disappointed I have not made the leap into buying my own home, I am satisfied with this transition. It will be a test run of sorts. I also am so transitient. What if I decide to move out of the state tomorrow? As a single woman, it's probably not the smartest idea to tie myself to one place.

I always pictured myself in an older, charming home. I always wanted to keep some of the older features, but update some elements on the home. Unfortunately, in Houston we don't have any older neighborhoods being revamped. The city seems to be at a standstill with the older neighborhoods.

The other day, it donned on me, that the house I am moving into fits what I have always envisioned for myself in a home. It's in an older, stable neighborhood; it was built in the '70s; it's all brick; and it's sort of cute (';)). e The house is bigger than I wanted it to be--it is 4 bedrooms, I wanted a 2-3 bedroom...but still, it's older and basically a blank slate.

I am thankful that I even have this opportunity to help my mom out, but also to be helped!

Right now, unfortunately, most of my saved money is going towards things that are NEEDED in the home. I will decorate as I go, though! I have been a pinning fool. So I have lots of ideas.

My fitness/eating journey is going well. Yesterday I realized that I am eating too much bread. So instead of bringing a sandwich with my soup today, I brought a salad. It so good and fresh!

I am also going to run 3 miles today. I need to also do some sit ups or something!

Did you guys REALLY think I didn't have much to say?

I love the changes in me

I have been on this journey a long time, so I should be used to the 'new' me, but I am not.

Last night I laid down around 9:30, before lying down, I set my alarm for 5AM. Spin is at 5:30AM. I set my alarm because I have been missing my early morning spin classes, and I wanted to make sure I went this morning.

After setting my alarm, and laying down...I started to think, 'maybe I'll do kettlebells tomorrow morning', or 'maybe I will do Jillian'. I also started to get really excited about eating a banana before my workout. <~~it's the small things in life!

I remember a time when I dreaded working out. I used to be one of those people who could not IMAGINE how someone could enjoy working out. I used to always laugh when someone said they were a gymrat. (I am still NOT a gymrat!)

I would always tell myself, I'd start. I would join gyms--go a few times and stop. When I first started losing weight, I joined a gym. I had a personal trainer. I would do the weights with her, but I HATED cardio.

I have joined curves--went for one summer in college, then stopped.

I joined Lucille Roberts--I went to one class and the instructor wore me out. Never went back. I did get on the TM a few times.

Whenever I would start on a new workout voyage, I'd have good intentions. But, as the time went on, I would start making excuses. I am not sure what changed in me, maybe it was running? Or maybe it was the fact that I knew I needed something to help me maintain?

But something changed.

Now, I crave exercise.

~It's become my time to think.
~My time to daydream--I love daydreaming. My mom used to call me a dreamer when I was a kid, because I'd daydream all day long.
~My time to look at myself in the mirrors and admire who I have become
~My time to be with other people who want to make changes in their bodies. I love being in a fitness classes and seeing all shapes and sizes doing the same thing
~My time to be selfish
~Also, let's be honest, it brings bragging rights
~It also allows a few extra calories--even though, that can be to my detriment. One extra calorie leads to 500 for me! LOL

The benefits of exercise are endless. My body has changed so much. I feel so good when I am finished. I love that pit of the stomach burn I get when I push myself.

I also just love being apart of the elite group of people who workout.

I don't know what the magic piece of advice is for someone who is just starting out.

This is how I started:

First, I tried something I never thought I would like. I tried running. I didn't jump into running. I started with walking. Once I started running, I craved it!

I ran until I got bored with running. I knew my history with joining and stopping gyms. So I just bought workout videos. I'd do a video for several weeks, then buy a new one. I bought videos until I had several to choose from.

Eventually, I joined a gym. It took a long time to commit to joining a gym, but I did last year and I have been faithful.

I also suggest getting a calendar and charting exercise. Put an activity down on the days. I find when I have an activity, I don't have to think about it. Sort of like pre-journalling your food intake. If it's there, I do it.

I also allow rest days! Oh, how I love rest days. I also have 'call in sick' workout days. Somedays I am just not feeling it, so I don't do it. I also have a secret goal of 5 days a week, but I am ok with 4 days.

This morning I made my spin class. I love that class. It's like a 5:30AM dance party, on a bike. I didn't think I was working too hard while in class. However, once I got off of my bike, I was appropriately soaked. I also could barely walk. And I am STARVING.

Love your body! Love moving it ;)

Body image can be a mean thing, right?

Since we last spoke, my eating has not been great.

Let me rewind--after I posted, I headed to Lake Charles for the weekend. Before we even got out of Houston, my mom tells us, "Uncle R is waiting for us to eat dinner...the Isle (a casino) is having crawfish on the buffet"...crawfish+buffet=fat girl heaven, right? Well, seafood isn't many calories. I planned to have a good day and I mostly did. I did eat too much at the buffet, but I only ate crawfish. Nothing else on the buffet. I did have a few potatoes and corn with it. How can you go to a crawfish boil and not have new potatoes and corn?? 

After eating, we went to visit my cousin's new 1 week old baby girl. ~swoon~ She is so snuggly and small. I told my sister we needed a new baby in the family. Her response was, "well have one!"...wrong answer, chick!

Sunday started off with good intentions...but I was out of town. Blah, blah, excuse, excuse. I make a lot of those, huh?

Anyway, back to my thoughts. This morning, I weighed myself and I was up 3 pds from my Saturday morning weight. The 3 pds up is still way higher than my comfortable weight, so I had a silent freak out. I refrained from texting anyone about freaking out. I think people get sick of people who freak out over every pd. So I contained myself and went to work.

I was sitting in a meeting this morning, looked down and thought I saw a mountain of a stomach. It was round and flabby. Not good. 

While sitting there, I started pulling it in and out. I also started to make a mental list of things I needed to do to improve it and what it resembled. 

The list of things to improve it were good things. 
The list of things it resembled were not so good things. 

My stomach is definitely is not in tip top shape, but I forced myself to stop the negative thoughts. Negative thoughts never get me anywhere but in a bag of cookies, chips, or a carton of ice cream.

To stop myself, I made myself look around the room and compare myself to other women. No, no, no I was not looking for the fattest person in the room to say, "at least I don't look like THAT!" I just wanted to compare to women of all shapes and sizes. While doing this, I went a step further, and made myself look at my stomach through the eyes of someone else. I forced myself to look at my stomach through the eyes of someone else, because I can be my own worse enemy. I AM bigger than I want to be, but no, I do not have a mountain of a stomach. I definitely have a stomach that needs some sit-ups.

Why am I even mentioning this silly thing? Well, because I think people who have lost a lot of weight go through the distorted body image thing. It's something that rarely gets spoken about. Thinner people don't get why when a heavy person loses the weight, they just can't be happy. Fatter people think when someone loses weight, they should just be happy and grateful that they have a arrived. A formerly fat person knows, that it takes a LONG time for the mind to catch up with the body.

I have been at my current weight for 6-7 yrs, and while it does get better with time, I still have times when I have to force myself to look at myself through the lens of a friend. 

I use the lens of a friend because friends can be kinder to us than we are to ourselves. I can look at myself and pick up 10 flaws, but a friend can look at me and pick out 10 assets. 

I guess I bring up this issue to say-- 1. It's normal to not see yourself like another person sees you, but 2. It's not ok to be negative and mean to yourself! 

Let's all try to look at ourselves through the lens of a friend. How would a friend see you? 

In other news, the flooring is being laid in my new place. After several weeks of non-response from these contractors, the guys finally came back over to finish what needs to be done.

It seems like every time I go over there, I find something else that needs to be done. I just keep telling myself, "one day at a time!"

I also bought a faucet for the kitchen sink! Woohoo, first purchase ;)

I did a 5 mile progressive run today. I started at an exaggerated slow pace and got faster and faster. The last 2 miles were hard...but it was a good run. As I was leaving the gym, I thought to myself, someone needs to come up with a shirt that says, "thank Heavens for good runs"...you know, like those shirts that say, "thank Heavens for boys or girls"? 

Eating has been good too! I'm hungry, especially after the run. 

Alright, Hoarders is on and I'm tired. Time to be lazy :)

BAM

I feel awesome.

I ran 9 miles this morning, and walked 1 cool down mile. 

A few weeks ago, I started walking a mile after my runs. I felt like I was not getting a proper cooldown. The mile really helps me calm myself down, get my breathing back in order, and just relax--text while walking, listen to music, etc. I especially love texting on that mile. I'm sure all of the runners are thinking, "look at that chick, she is texting and I'm pushing it"...it makes me smile inside to be a rebel ;)

The run was pretty good. I felt a little tired at the beginning. I'm still playing around with my Mecca of pre-long run fuel. I went out last night and had fajitas--but only ate one tortilla, no rice and a bite or two of beans. The restuarant I went to offers spaghetti squash or green beans as a sub for the rice and beans. I chose this due to my "operation get the 6 pds off" goal. The spaghetti squash was really good, but a little sweet/salty for my taste buds, 

Also, on my run, I ran straight into the trail riders. It's Rodeo time in Houston, so a lot of festivities are going on today. I didn't realize the trail riders would be coming along my route, so I thought I'd miss them. But lo and behold, as I'm jogging back into the park there they were. I ran along side them for about 3ish miles. I had a bunch of cowboys cheering me on. I got embarrassed and started running faster! I always get so flustered when I get too much male attention. It was very flattering and a nice push for me. Also, as I was getting in, a cop gave me a thumbs up and told me that he had seen me about 6 times lol. I was like, "no you haven't"--I'm smooth. He says, "uh, yes I have".  It was cool seeing/knowing men notice me. After so many years of being basically invisible to the opposite sex, I still get all "aww" when a man actually takes notice of me, and just talks to me. 

My eating is going really well since I re-committed. I have journaled everyday on my fitness pal. I have also been hyper vigilant. My guess is the gain was temporary because it's almost gone, but in the last few days, I've noticed how the pds could have crept up. I was doing a bit too much of, "this is ok", "I'll have a bit of that"...since I'm mindful, I'm not just eating the gaucamole just because it came with my food, or the extra cheese, or the BLTs. I'm not sure if this path will lead me to goal--finally!, but it will lead me to being mindful and not complacent.

Alright, peeps--I'm headed to the great state of Louisiana for the night. Peace :)

Ok, the jig is up!

One of my goals for the new year was to not diet. I have been struggling with that goal, because it's just something that I have always done. I have not 'dieted' since setting that goal, just ate normally. However, like I said yesterday, I feel 'solid'.

I went to the doctor on Monday and the number on the scale shocked me. It was 10 pds up from the weight I was at the beginning of the month. The poor LVN talked me off the ledge and gave me some excuses--it's water weight, it's almost noon time, etc. I allowed myself to be comforted.

Tuesday the pants I wore to work were just a little bit more 'fitted' than normal. I may or may not have also changed out of the original pair I put on.

Wednesday the pants I wore to work with a bit 'fitted', also.

This morning, before I could talk myself out of it, I hopped on the scale.

The verdict:
I am 6 pds higher than I was at the beginning of the month.

Now it could be many things:
~I started BCP a few weeks ago.
~I've been sick
~I've not been drinking enough water
~etc
~excuse
~etc
~excuse
~etc

Needless to say, I will be dieting for a bit. I resigned into My Fitness Pal, I updated my weight and journalled breakfast and lunch. I even measured out my coffee creamer.

Operation lose 6 pds is in full effect!

I also went to spin at lunchtime. That was prearranged. The class was TOUGH, but I made it through even though like half the class left before the end. I always feel hardcore when people leave mid-class.

I also saw the lovely Lamar ;) (If you have not been reading my blog long, he is a personal trainer at the gym that I have the hots for) He was training a group when I came in, but he was working out alone when I left. I took that as my opportunity to 'stalk' him like he does to me while I am in body pump. LOL. He started laughing and we chatted for a bit.

Like a friend of mine said, he is not marriage material--he has children. But he is definitely nice to look at!

Happy Thursday!!

Wordful Wednesday

I hate when I have long absences from blogging. I had a really good blog idea for last wednesday, too. I was going to list 10 things I love about myself in honor of Valentine's Day being over. Since, it's wednesday, albeit a week later, I will still list them:

1. I love my hair! I stopped relaxing/perming my hair about 3 or 4 years ago and every time I wash my hair, I LOVE the feel of it. I love the thick, soft, luscious curls.

2. I love the fact that I am independent. Sometimes I am TOO independent, but I like that I when set my mind to doing something, it gets done.

3. I love that I have passion.

4. I love my car. (random, right?)

5. I love my complexion, eye color and hair color combo. They are all different shades of brown. I love how they play off of each other.

6. I love that I am not afraid to grow. Over the last few years, I have made several changes in my life--some hurt, some felt good. However, I persisted through them and now I feel I am on the other side.

7. I am turning 30 in a few months. While, I am not THRILLED to be 30...I am thrilled that I got a lot done in my 20s. I am also thrilled that I am entering the 30s as a mature individual.

8. I love that I don't settle. At times, I wish I could just settle...life would be 'easier', right? But I love that I know what I want, and I am not afraid to go after it.

9. I love that I am selfish. A few years ago, my mom told me, "I have always admired how selfish you are"...my immediate thought was, "I am NOT selfish." However, what she meant was, I put my needs first. While, that's not always a good thing. It's a healthy thing. In the work I do, I see a lot of people who put everyone before them. They are left shells of themselves. I spend a lot of time trying to get people to figure out what makes THEM happy/content. Of course, I am not totally selfish. But, I do and will always have my back ;)

10. I love that I forgive myself when I make mistakes.

Ok, I needed that last week more than this week, but it felt good to get that out. We can all use a little self love, right?

Now on to new stuff-

Last week I was MIA, because I was sick--boo. I woke up Wednesday morning with a sore throat, a cough, and general yuckiness. Despite being sick, I stuck to my workout plan and went to work. I did have one bad day of eating, but it's ok, it was one day...

Saturday I did not do my long run due to the weather. I went to spin + 3.5 miles on the TM. After this, I spent most of the day in bed.

Sunday I did not go to Yoga, because my head hurt just lifting it up. I did spend a few hours cleaning my 'new' house. The kitchen is almost spotless.

Sunday-Tuesday the sickness came to a head. I even went to the doctor on monday. Apparently the doctor saw no infection. He just thought it was my sinuses. Soo...I am letting it run its course.

Monday evening I felt good enough to go to the gym. I did 5 miles of hills on the TM. It was tough, but felt so good!

My intention was to go to spin yesterday afternoon, but I didn't get to the gym in time. I was still feeling a little under the weather, so I took this as a sign to 'act' sick. I took a DOR.

This morning, after willing myself to stay in bed for about 10 mins, I got up and went to the gym for a 3.5 mile tempo run. Unfortunately, my body was not in the mood for a tempo run. I managed to do 2 miles at a tempo pace. The rest of the run was a huge mental battle within myself.

My eating continues to be a daily struggle. I have allowed myself to eat more sweets than I want in my diet, so I have to get ahold of that. Yesterday, I randomly bought a peanut butter egg. It happened so fast, that I didn't have enough time to stop the purchase. I have also been slacking about putting my sweets on my calendar. Everytime I see the calendar, I mean to update it, but I don't. I am going to do that tonight.

I have also been weighing in once a month. I think I am going to up that to once a week. I feel 'solid'. Clothes still fit, but I feel like I am bulking up. I am not sure why I feel this way, because my eating habits are pretty much the same as they always are...but, I like feeling light. I need to see where I am scale-wise more often. So back to once a week!

Yay it's Tuesday

..and Valentine's day.

I like to think I'm an independent, strong woman. I like to hear myself roar on occasion, but nothing brings me down more than the ever present day of LOVE.

All week, ok month, I've been planning how I will not worry about this day. After all, it's just a Hallmark Holiday, right? Yea, right...the only people who say that are people who are married or people who are trying to make themselves feel better for not having a valentine. It's also silly to save "love" for one day out of the year, right? Yep, another excuse uttered by single people who want to make themselves feel better. 

I'll be perfectly honest. Being single year after year just sucks. Maybe underneath all of this bravado I appear to have, I am just a romantic at heart. Whenever I see a new set of flowers posted on Facebook, or someone calls me to tell me what their beau bought them...I go "aww", but immediately after the "aww" slips out, bitterness creeps in. I know it's not right, I know I need to just embrace singledom and for the most part, I do. 

But, I'm not too woman to say,

Being single on v-day just sucks.

However, it doesn't entirely suck...

The good part is I don't have to deal with getting my hopes up over a perfect day/gift, only to get nothing or be let down.

I can do anything for myself.

I can stuff myself with chocolate without some man looking at me like I'm a pig :p

And I always pick out the perfect gifts for myself. Nichelle, thank YOU for the coach purse and wallet! and the deposit on the water bill in your new house. And all of the fancy appliances you are about to buy.

I know it's PC and very forward of me not to care, but in actuality I do. 

However, I will wait patiently for my one and only. And boy when he comes, he has A LOT of making up to do ;) 

And just to treat myself to a healthier body, I went to the gym over lunch time. My intentions were to go to spin, but as luck would have it, all of the bikes were taken. So I went to the TM for 4.2 miles of not so much fun. But it's done and it's marked on the calendar. 

Thanks for reading my whiney, but not too whiney, woe is me post ;)

I will now go stuff myself with chocolate, cry and watch the Notebook now...

Rainy Monday

It's rainy and nasty this morning. I was scheduled to run this morning, but I woke up with a terrible throat-ache and a pressure headache...and overcast skies—a recipe for extra laziness. I packed my bag to do something this evening, not sure if I will make it to Body Pump AND run or either/or. I am also developing an earache. ~insert whiney voice~ I don't wannnna be sick...waah!

This weekend was a good weekend:

Friday, I met some friends at Happy Hour at Truluck's. The drinks were amazing, the food was great, and the company was even better. It's always nice to connect with like-minded people.

My eating on Friday was not the best, though. I had a cupcake at the restaurant--so good! It was a carrot cupcake. It was so light and good. When I got home, I was on the phone, tipsy, and just grabbed some cookie dough. Not great!

I went to bed ambivalent about my 8 mile run on Saturday. I say, I was ambivalent because I didn't obsess about anything with the run. I just knew I had to meet my group on Saturday morning. I also saw that it would be FREEZING in the morning.

Saturday morning I woke up on time, got dressed in semi-warm clothes, had a PBnJ and coffee and headed to the park.

It was SO cold I did not want to get out of my car. I saw people start trickling in, so I made my way to the meeting place. Everyone was doing different mileages. I knew I wanted to get 8 miles in and I wanted to run them alone. Yes, I know, I should be more social...but, I need to embrace that I LIKE running alone. I was excited about this run because it was going to take me through a part of Houston I had only driven in. I was also a bit nervous about the run, because I had been having slight ankle pain.

After standing around and waiting for everyone to get there, we all decided it was too cold to stand and wait, so we started.

When I started, I told myself I'd stop at mile 1 and stretch if I needed to. I got to mile 1 and felt good, so I kept on. I stopped at mile 2, because my music stopped. I have begun listening to Pandora Radio while running and it can be fickle.

Miles 2-4 were through a terrain/area I had never been in. When I got to mile 2, there were two options--under the freeways through a bayou area or over the freeways through a park. Obviously, I chose the bayou area. It was SO nice under there. I ran through mud, uneven surfaces, etc. It was like a trail. Also, true to Houston form, one side was the nice bayou and trees and nature...the other side was mud, tractors and portapotties (they are expanding the trail). Houston is always revamping something, so it's normally like that all over the city.

Anyway, I got to mile 4, took half my box of raisins and kept going.

Miles 4-5 went by relatively fast.
Miles 5-7 went by incredibly slow.
Miles 7-8 was fast. I turned on Lil Wayne radio and pushed it. I told myself I needed angry music to get through that last mile. When I got to my car at mile 8, I sat, caught my breathe and decided to walk another mile. That last mile felt so good!

Anyway, overall good run. I am glad it's behind me. I have 9 miles scheduled for this weekend and only 5 weeks until my half.

The rest of the weekend was good. I went to a Modern Dance performance at the University of Houston on Saturday night.

Sunday I went to Yoga.

After Friday’s snafu with food, and a stern lecture to myself, the rest of the weekend went well, as far as eating is concerned.

I am in the process of getting a house ready to move in. We had been having issues with getting in touch with the contractors who were hired to get the house move-in ready. There is some water damaged parts of the house that must be repaired. I went to the house this morning to drop some stuff off and thank goodness, they have started repairing those areas. I got the water turned on. Hopefully, I can go over this weekend and clean out the kitchen. Let's hope I can get move in within the next month!!

Ok, this is very long and rambly. Have a good Monday!

TGIF! Diet thoughts...

First, thank God it's Friday!

It  is a rainy, nasty friday...but it's friday, so who can complain?

I did not run this morning, I figured my legs needed a rest for the long run tomorrow.

Last night, I was looking at a friend's facebook page. She restores furniture, and since I am currenly OBSESSED with all things moving/decoration, I was looking at the work she has done. While going through her pics, I come across this picture:

I read this and thought, "OMG, this is the perfect summation of dieting/maintenance"

Since I have lost a lot of weight, people constantly ask me what the secret is to losing or maintenance. Usually the people who ask are people who are Monday dieters, someday dieters, or the gung-ho type--you know the type-- the type that starts on monday, gets all fruits and veggies for the week, work up a workout plan of EVERYDAY working out. These are the peeps that typically fizzle out around Tuesday morning. Or maybe even Monday night.

When people ask me, 'how do you DO it', 'how can you keep it off'...I always say, start simple and realize that it's not about perfection. I always get a side-eye glare and, the famous, 'but it's HARD!!'. To which, I reply, 'duh'. LOL. Not really. But you get the point.

I think, people for the most part, think that this is all about perfection.

The secret is so not about perfection. In my 13 years 'on plan', I have:

Binged--more times than I can count;

I've had to mourn the fact that I am NOT a naturally skinny person;

I've gotten angry at my body;

I've fallen off the wagon, let the wagon roll over me a couple of times.

I have also,

Forgiven myself for my mistakes;

Gotten over the fact that I will never be a size 2, it's not realistic to even put that pressure onto myself;

I work out, even when I don't want to;

I make good decisions MOST of the time;

I still allow myself to indulge;

And most importantly, just embraced the fact that this is for life. I don't want to be miserable, so I have to work within my limitations.

Reading that quote not only helped ME put my imperfections into perspective, but I think it will help a lot of dieters/maitainers who will take the time to absorb the information.

It's really not about perfection. It's about being kind to yourself and loving your body.

So lets love our bodies and ourselves.

I will love my body by cherishing what I put into it and how I work it out. I will love myself by focusing on the positive, not the negative.

I am a firm believer that if you appreciate your imperfections, the rest will follow.

Happy friday and peace out!

It's Wordful Wednesday!

Hi guys!

 Everyone knows that I am full of thoughts and words, so wordless wednesday never works for me. I am also a non-conformist, so I guess it's only appropriate that I change the blogging trend and change WordLESS Wednesday into WordFUL Wednesday.

I did not get my workout in yesterday. I woke up at 2AM and was up until around 4AM on Tuesday morning. I normally go to spin on Tuesday morning. Spin starts at 5:30. I woke up at 5 to go, but as I was getting dressed, I got lightheaded (tired), so I went back to sleep. My intentions were to go to spin in the evening or run. But I got off of work late, I was tired, yadaya...excuses.

To repent for my non-working out sins, I woke up this morning at 5AM to have a date with the TM.

I get to the gym and notice that one show is tighter than the other. I think it's my laces, so I bend down to relace my shoes and notice this:

Fail.

Who really leaves the house with two different gym shoes on? For a second, I thought about turning around and going home, but the trooper in me decided to go with the craziness.

I ran 4 miles in two different shoes. Funny enough, this run was a run that I had no pain. I wonder if there is something to wearing a tighter shoe on the foot that gives me a lot of trouble? LOL.

I did a progressive hill workout this morning:

5 min warm up walk

5 min jog

.5 mile jog on a 5% incline. My jog was only a 5

I rested for .1

Ran for .5

Rinse, wash, repeat.

I increased the mileage on each mile repeat.

It felt so good that I continued to 4 miles vs. just doing my scheduled 3 miles. That almost never happens. My legs felt so light and loose. The half mile inclines helped the running feel effortless.

On to my eating.

This is my motto for the week:

I saw this picture this weekend on facebook. I immediately saved it to my phone and put it on my lock screen.

Unfortunately it did not keep me out of the cookies this weekend. However, it's been working this week.

Last night, right before my last client, I got hit by the hunger bug. I was going to stop and get some peanuts, but I was running a bit late. I went on to the clients' home. It was a couples' session. Lucky for me, they chose to have snack time before I got there (the devil was busy!). He was eating ice cream and she was eating doritos. They offered me some of both...of which, I declined. I got into my car and was craving doritos. I had to use the restroom, so I stopped at a grocery store and got some baked doritos. I was going to just eat them out of the bag until I got home. I noticed a baggy from lunch. So I poured some chips and ate those. Win!

When I got home, I ended up eating two pcs of chicken and a few more Doritos.

After dinner, I was head hungry. I was also searching for something. My sister made peanut butter cookies. I told her to put all of the stuff UP! Of course, when I go down to the kitchen a few hours later, the cookie dough was sitting on the counter AND a cookie was left on the pan. I felt like a man who was lusting after an untouchable woman. Sick, right? I really wanted those cookies and cookie dough. But, I resisted. I got a grapefuit and a healthy serving of yogurt raisins. After I ate those things, I brushed my teeth and read my book.

Win!

I love small victories. I didn't need the baked Doritos or the yogurt raisins, but they were a much better alternative to real doritos AND peanut butter cookies/dough.

I am also the most hardheaded person in the world. I have been saying that I am going to chart these binge feelings. I got a calendar, I started charting my good/bad days. But I still haven't started charting when I have those familiar binge feelings. I am going to change that. I charted the feeling yesterday. I am hoping to find a pattern to attack the issue.

In marathon news.

I still have my heart set on a marathon for 2012. It might not happen, though. I entered the lotto for the NYC marathon--I won't hear back from them until April 28. My back up plan was the Chicago Marathon. However, the registration opened and closed in record time! 6 days.

I did not register, because I didn't want to shell out extra money.

I almost did. I have several friends who are running it as their first marathon. However, I just couldn't risk getting into two marathons in a month. I am definitely NOT a type of runner who can backdoor marathons. I know me not signing up for the Chi-town marathon basically seals the deal that I won't get into the NYC marathon. Murphy's law and all...

I have come to terms that it's OK if I do not do my first marathon in 2012. If I don't get into NYC, I will just do the Houston Marathon in January.

I came across this picture on facebook today...

OMG...are these people talking to me or what?

I am the biggest excuse maker. I need to stop the bullshit excuses.

The end.

A weekend review of sorts, a new week starts, and thoughts

I will start with a weekend review:

-I used 3 of my 6 'sweets' days this weekend. Yes, Friday, Saturday AND Sunday I got into the cookies. Not good. However, I am committed to only having 6 days of eating sweets this month. I have three more days and I need to use those wisely.

-I did not get my long run in this weekend. Saturday morning I woke up to thunderstorms and lightening. I am not a fan of the TM, so I went to spin. Spin was difficult and a great replacement. I loved the variety. I half want to start doing spin every other weekend (and moving my long run to a different day). It was so nice to break it up.

-I am not happy with my eating this weekend. I am wondering if it's hormonal or what...but yesterday, I just snacked my way into a full-on binge. I am going to have to review my out of control days to see if there is a pattern of behavior.

-I went to yoga class for the first time in forever yesterday. It was such a great class! I must make it every Sunday. It was more of a restorative class than a venyasa flow. I needed the meditative piece of restorative yoga.

Other than my eating snafus, I had a good weekend--Low key, but good.

Yesterday marked a start to a new week, since I didn't stick to my planned workout schedule like I needed to last week, I decided to go ahead and mark my workouts on my calendar. I will just check "done" or "not done" at the end of the day.

My plan for today is 6 miles + body pump. So far, I've done 5.5 miles. Still have .5 and BP. Those two are looking like they will go according to plan. My legs are slightly sore from this morning's run...but it will be ok.

Thoughts:

I am SO tired. Not sure why I am so sleepy. I woke up this morning around 6:45 for my run, but that's not crazy early for me. I need a cup of coffee!

My run this morning was a good one. While I was running, I was trying to decide if I'd label the run as 'good', 'bad', or 'horrible'. I think I will go with good. I picked up speed when I had energy, I held back when I didn't. Overall, I feel like I put up a good effort. I also sprint/walked the last mile. That's always a victory for me. I always hate sprinting!

I really need to learn coping skills while in the midst of a binge. Last night, I subconsciously allowed myself to have the binge. But I'd really like to STOP it. I do know one of my issues yesterday was that I didn't eat a proper lunch. I was cleaning and doing other stuff, so I ate lunch standing. I need to not do that. When I eat lunch like this, I never feel 'full'...so I chase the full feeling until it's a lot and then I say whatever.

I think that's all for now!

I can never come up with great, dynamic titles. I always tend to do the day of the week plus whatever I'm thinking about...

Tonight I'm thinking about a lot-

First, this week has gone ok with regards to eating-yay! The intuitive eating thing is coming along well. Twice this week I stopped eating when I was full. I hardly ever leave anything on my plate at a restaurant; but twice, I came home with doggy bags. Go me!

Second, I did semi-well with my workouts. Due to changes in my schedule, the weather or aching legs, I didn't run quite as much as I wanted to, but I feel like I got quality workouts in.

Third, I am getting back into that introvert-ish lonely place. 50% of me feels like I am retreating just because I am overwhelmed with life and that's what I tend to do...but the other 50% knows that I'm not actively putting myself out there like I should. In the fall, I did a lot of things to get myself out of my comfort zone. I joined a great meet up group. I felt like I connected well with the group, but the group has been inactive for awhile. I also joined a running group. While everyone is nice, I haven't connected with anyone on a deeper level. I always forget how hard it is to make friends for an introverted person. I also have to constantly work at NOT becoming a full on recluse. Blah!

Not much else is on my mind....but it feels good to get that out.

I'm about to run to the mall with my sister. I'm also craving fruit and wine. So I'm going to get a bottle and some fresh fruit. I also want to watch Just Right tonight.